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Cautionary Podcasting

Welcome to a new month. In our June pride, as we are still living through this pandemic, while standing up for human rights and human life, I’m still left to wonder how anyone lives with themselves hearing the screams of George Floyd saying I can’t breathe.

When this happened to Eric Gardner, I was very upset. I couldn’t watch TV for weeks because the idea of someone trying to breathe in the hands of another human being preventing them is sick.

With all that being said, I’ve noticed a barrage of hate coming from all parts of social media.

No, not from white people. From the very people who criticize this type of hate are spewing the same hate back. Then you have the other team, someone called it on my Instagram, the armchair activists, posting videos or pictures of incidents that took place over a period of time or others who have become the DNA “experts” claiming who is black and who isn’t, which is insulting across the board for all nationalities. And I’m not talking about random people, people for whom I’ve actually known for years and I know they got their own kind of hate because I’ve heard it from their own lips. And it’s funny because they think I’m Puerto Rican, I’m supposed to readily agree with these distorted hate views on other nationalities. I’m not the one.

If people can sit there and be comfortable with justifying another person’s nationality through their skin color alone, you disrespect their heritage and lineage. I find it absolutely disgusting and offensive.

I will use this as an example. Kyle Richards who is married to Mauricio is actually Jewish which is a faith, not a race. His family fled to Mexico where Mauricio was born and raised and speaks fluent Spanish. Does this make him black?

Another example, from my own personal experience, I was working at a law firm and one of my team members spoke with a “British” accent and one day while speaking with her I asked her what part of London she lived in and she took immediate offense. “I am not British, I am South African”.

Realizing I made a mistake, I apologized.

In this instance, I realized my own ignorance through people’s accents and/or skin color.

There are Jewish people who will regard themselves as just Jewish, honoring their ancestors who fought for their own freedoms.

Never assume someone who is from the Middle East is necessarily Arab. Never assume people of India are all Muslim. Never assume people of the Middle East are some radical terrorists. Never assume a Muslim, regardless of skin color, is a radical. Never assume a white person is privileged and lives a wonderful life. Never assume a light skinned person is white. Never assume a nationality is automatically “black” because of their skin color.

When you lump everyone together, you take away their individuality, their heritage, the pride of their land and their history. Talk to people who live outside of the USA and they will speak of their land and heritage with pride and no shame.

We celebrate our pride in special foods we make, in how we celebrate holidays, birthdays, weddings and milestones, even death.

This is the same ignorance of people who think they can justify a person’s birth place or skin color by categorizing who they are as a human being.

The same ignorance of people thinking looting and stealing is the answer because it proves what…?

Last time I checked destroying property resolves nothing other than getting you jail time. It doesn’t bring George Floyd back. It doesn’t stop that cop who killed him from being a hateful human being. And who’s to say, he was born with that hate? Perhaps being an officer of the law, who promised to serve and protect had seen enough crimes to generate a hate and never went to therapy to resolve that.

While I am not making excuses for this particular police officer, I do agree, there’s something seriously wrong with him. Not only did his deep rooted hate killed a man there were other officers who stood by and did nothing. What does that say about them?

I’m sure most of the people protesting doesn’t even know what it is to be a police officer, the stress accompanied with having to deal with crime day after day. Has anyone taken the time to study law or even pulled out a book to understand the laws of their state? This is always good to know!

I am acutely aware this doesn’t stop people from hating, however, how many times have I said, “knowledge is power”. How do you think Martin Luther King have even white people walk with him? Because of his knowledge of history, respect for mankind in how to address an ignorant group of people and get them to change their minds in his words and actions.

I have thought to myself many of times, imagine if everyone wore a suit and just paraded down the street, holding their signs, in silence.

Silence speaks volumes.

It is a voice that tells others, enough is enough with this bullshit. The power in numbers to be silent, just as MLK has done in the past, walking arm in arm with his brothers.

Because even though we are individuals, at the end of the day, we are all the same. We breathe the same, eat, live, love, shit, piss, cry….every HUMAN aspect, we are the same.

Our individualities are what we should celebrate and not hate or dispute because we cannot be like everyone else.

Even when the gay and lesbian community were fighting with community members about their lifestyle and the parade, what did they do? They still had a parade. They still got dressed up, kissed one another, laughed and celebrated their very existence of who they are and who they love. And I LOVE that!

But as we all know, during the times of Stone Wall, the gay and lesbian community had their own battles to endure, even still to this current day, the ignorance towards the gay and lesbian community is incredibly disappointing and disgusting.

And let’s be real about this whole thing, shall we?

A lot of the hate stems from bible thumping people who lounge with quotes from “God”, yet these are the same people who don’t live by these words. They want to tell you how to live but yet they can’t practice the value of humility and gratitude in their own homes.

Let me share something personal. My father is an angry person (still is). Every situation he encounters with cursing and anger. The constant of pointing fingers is something of a narcissistic behavior because as humans we don’t like taking responsibility for our own actions.

It annoys to no end because I know a heighten anger only causes internal stress. As an adult, living with them and trying to ensure their well-being, especially after his heart attack, my father has learned nothing with regards to stress and his blood pressure. In all of these years, he is still repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results.

My mother has taken on the same behavior by sitting in her rocking chair and judging people’s choices as if she would have done better. And don’t tell her Facebook isn’t reliable news…that’s another argument right there.

We all have choices as we grow up and begin to understand the world around us. We can be can product of our homelife, (especially if you have examples like my parents which isn’t that great) or we can break away from that chain and be a better person for the next person and for our future.

Look, I lived my own “colorful” life, but when I came to the acceptance of my own inability to accept personal responsibility (12 steps), was when real change began and I desired those changes so I can be a better person. My anger early on in my sobriety resolved nothing. I was the only one feeling it while everyone else went on with their lives.

This is the very reason why I am completely against riots and looting. It has and will never resolve anything. It doesn’t bring anyone back from the dead and the message is lost through anger and ignorance.

The finger pointing of the white vs black has me disconnecting from people who have shown their true colors in thinking their thoughts are aligned and correct. The way to life isn’t “let’s blame the white race for all of our problems”.

Sorry I’m not the one.

Michael Jackson said it best, “I’m starting with the man in the mirror”.

I can’t tell people how to be a better human in the guise of, “you must do this or that”.

Your life path, your life choices, is what is going to make you a better human. Directing people what do to do and what to believe and identifying what “race” they belong to is what will continue to keep us in the chains of insanity. If you haven’t learned how to break the chains, you have no business telling someone else how they should live.

I know people won’t agree with my words and that’s okay. I can speak my peace and share my experience with you on how I choose to live and how no one gets in the way of my goals, dreams or my successes.

So, with all this being said, how does this tie into my Unfiltered podcast shows.

I realize I don’t have control over my guests in what they say or wish to express on my shows. But when you’re invited to a show, it’s like inviting a guest to your home. It’s important for me to respect my guests because at some point I want them to come back and speak on topics we may not have gotten a chance to finish, or perhaps there are other interest in topics we can talk about on anther episode. I would ask for the same respect in return. When topics veer off into something I don’t agree with, it brings attention to others as if I have condoned and given my platform to promote hate and that doesn’t sit with me very well.

At this time, I want to say thank you for understanding and supporting in all that I do. It’s so important to me to bring forth people, just like you and me to discuss their goals and aspirations, as well as their knowledge. I hope I can continue doing that flawlessly in future shows.


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