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Getting Sucked in – 90 Day Fiancé – Before the 90 Days

Just a few days ago, I was having a conversation with one of my best friends in the world, whom I’ve known since the 4th grade about the television reality show on TLC – “90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days”.

I definitely was entertained by the twitter posts I had seen, especially with Ed and I knew it was something I could be watching but I chalked it up to, well I had my own “90” day disaster, why should I watch someone else’s?

Being sick again, whatever this is (I made another doctor’s appointment) I have been unable to do my YouTube antics (and believe me this would be soooo good for video), I decided to pen this down while watching a marathon of this show.

Other than not being able to do video, writing is good for the soul.

So, as I sat on my bed, trying to get rest, I turned on the television and begin searching through the guide when I see 90 day is on, the one with “Big Ed”.

“Okay”, I said “…let’s do this”.

I will say other than Ed and Rose not working out, from what I’m currently seeing, I have a vested interest in David, Lana, Varya, Mary and Mr. Knoxville, Geoffrey.

Let’s start off with David and Lana.

Seems as though, David has invested 7 years of his life searching out for this Lana girl. Not only has he invested his time with an online relationship with her, he has traveled to the Ukrain four times trying to find her, even hiring private investigators and firing them when they mention she had several online dating accounts, pursuing different relationships while scamming them. David refused to believe she was not real; let alone he was being scammed.

“No, not me.”

Hmmm, well, as the marathon of episodes droned on, we discover she is real, however, it doesn’t change the alleged facts, that she could have several accounts, and perhaps men do give her money in exchange for….?

I mean look, let’s not blind our eyes and pretend we don’t see what is going on. I understand the adult world very well and I know what goes on in that playground. That being said, I think David is stuck on some belief system Lana will fall in love with him and they will live happily ever after in Las Vegas.

The producers asked her a very important question, for which she refused to answer, which was, how much money has David given her and she requested to, “skip this question”.

I think, in my own personal opinion, it is very clear, Lana has zero interested in building a life with David, of marrying him, or even leaving her home country to begin a new life with him.

As for my opinion on David, fairly good-looking man…when he was younger.

Putting up pics with expensive cars will definitely gain a lot more of the women who are looking for paydays and not relationships.

But let’s hit the nail on the head….SEVEN YEARS!

Does anyone know what it is to spend seven years in pursuit of someone, spending all the money you have on a person you’ve never met?

I’ll say this, for Lana, it was probably the best seven years of living well, being financially sound “a la David”, without having to settle down let alone having to meet him in person and having the best excuses to avoid him at all costs.

While he’s in Ukraine, she’s answering his own questions as to why it took them so long to meet, but he’s not really listening to her answers or even her body language, for that matter.

He doesn’t have her number and they still use the site to communicate because it has a translation feature. But you know there’s texting…I mean I’m just saying.

He’s talking about a K1 visa process and she’s talking about reasons why she gave him fake addresses and avoided meeting him because she wasn’t ready.

He’s talking about getting photos for the visa but yet all these photos seem rushed, as he’s putting a collage together to show a history of their meetings and dates.

Then here’s the kicker, placing bets in bowling to get kisses from her? Clearly there isn’t any romance or chemistry in this relationship at all. Why would any one make bets to get a kiss? Come on now, is this man that dense?

Oh wait, don’t answer that, all I have to do is say, “seven years”.

I have been on many of dates which I knew was never going to end in a kiss, simply because I had no desire other than no chemistry. I do recall one time some dude I had zero chemistry with just decided he was going to kiss me; I’m sure didn’t anticipate me pushing him away and wiping my mouth from his kiss right in front of him should have spoken volumes.

Anyway, this David dude, is very much in denial and has made himself believe Lana wants to make a life with him even if she wants to take things slow.

Lest anyone who believes Lana is into him is also buying the lies. If anyone is good at watching body language, Lana’s body language with David speaks volumes. The fake smiles, the hugs she gives while keeping him at a safe distance and pushing him away, (who knew that could be done), the look in her eyes which say, (to me), “I can’t wait for this date to be over”, is enough to tell me David is living in la la land.

The episodes leaves off with David and Lana on a dinner date and he asked her to come to his room because he wanted to ask her something. From what I had seen this morning from one blogger apparently, David does ask Lana to marry him and initially she said yes but later turns him down.

Look, as a woman, it’s very hard for me to be with a man I have zero attraction to. Just ask the last shit show I was with. To pretend, to kiss (ewww), to spend time with someone you have zero vested interest in just because you may want to set up your social standards to live a better life, I will say this, Lana seems to be living a very good life. So, if she decided to be with David to get a visa (just using as an example) I give the marriage a year before she decides to walk out the door. But if she’s smart (and after seven years I have to give her an award), she should stay put. Why ruin a good thing?

And trust me, David will still be clueless wondering where it all went wrong. Not seeing it was wrong from the get.

Now let’s move on to Mr. Knoxville Geoffrey.

Apparently, he is pursuing a Russian lady by the name of Varya. While their relationship seems to be taking positive turns within their banya, it seems it wasn’t enough for Varya who had issues with her family acceptance of Geoffrey and his past. So when Geoffrey whipped out a ring and got on his knee and asked Varya to marry him, her response was, “not now”.

Well explain to me what “not now” means? It means no, not right now. Maybe later? But now….? No.

With tail tucked between his legs, Geoffrey runs back home to apparently another potential relationship waiting for him in the form of another lady named Mary, someone who Geoffrey had been friends with for quite some time. Even upon his arrival with Varya texting him like a maniac, she didn’t understand his lack of response meant ‘leave me alone’. Instead, Varya got on a plane, reserved a room for one night with the anticipation there would be an unforgettable reunion.

Boy was it ever.

“What is she doing here?”

“Are you with my man you bitch?”

“Why is this bitch talking, I’m not talking to you!”

“There is no reason to be disrespectful.”

All the while Geoffrey is standing there with his arms crossed, speechless and Mary picking up her stuff and walking out the door.

This was all fucked up across the board.

Mary was a secondary choice, after being kicked to the curb by Varya.

To add insult to injury, a night Geoffrey had planned with Mary to hang out with their friends, instead brings Varya (I mean did he have a choice). All friends seemed stunned by Varya’s presence. Let alone, she thought it was okay to talk shit about Mary and think her friends wouldn’t stick up for her?

For real?

Geoffrey’s friend said it best, “you have some decisions to make”.

If I were in a situation like this, I wouldn’t honestly know what to do.

And Mary, being Mary (I’m guessing), didn’t have any issues showing up on what was supposed to be her date with Geoffrey to meet their friends.

Think about it. What does she have to be ashamed for? She was under the belief Geoffrey had moved on and maybe he did…who’s to know the weeks he ignored Varya’s text, he should have been forthcoming and said, “look, you turned down my proposal, stop texting me, it’s over”.

Even so, after explaining to her that she should have gotten a clue from his lack of response, “sometimes, Geoffrey, it’s just better to say, it’s over”. But he didn’t, therefore leaving that door wide open.

In the world on 90 day fiancé, I will say this, speaking from my own personal experience. While online relationships can be fun, the reality truly begins when you are face to face with the person you think you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

I knew when I met “shit show”, after a week of his visit, it wasn’t going to work out. But being at odds with my feelings and my feeling sorry for him, it seemed feeling sorry for him kept winning over my own happiness until it couldn’t anymore.

On a television scale, what may be great for television is almost never good for real life.

And Oh believe me I have comments on the other couples....Stay tuned.

Until then.


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