I remember when I started my magazine. It was an “original” idea but the originality stemmed from my own personal experiences, as well as others who were more focused on our modern day alternative relationships. The internet was still new and I developed this online idea where people can share their stories and experiences within the Fetish elements of life.
It was also important to reflect the voices of women.
It seemed women who expressed themselves in a commanding sort of way were considered bitches and difficult to work with or work for.
I had learned something in the era of ‘Sex and the City”, we were not horny women making relationship choices based on how well someone can perform or if they were emotionally mature to be in the next phase of a relationship. Some of us had different standards of what we perceived our relationships should be.
It was just the simple fact we were not the Sex and the City characters.
I can recall a friend of mine and I went out to several different bars with business cards in tow, we promoted Kink~E Magazine and one guy asked was this a Sex and the City type mag. I must admit I was a little insulted. I had zero interest in being known as a replica of Carrie Bradshaw, and it gave me pause to find a way to define my target and how to hone in an audience who maybe was curious about Fetish life but were afraid to explore.
A few years into the development of my magazine, I found out there was a woman in another country stealing my content. It was so bad I was having arguments with her on MySpace (no less) and she didn’t care she was plagiarizing my content even right down to the logo. Since the laws weren’t sophisticated at the time, I had to take matters into my own hands and put an end to her “reign” and it worked. It benefited me when someone she did business with, sent me a bill as she owed him money.
Unknowingly, because she was stealing my copyrighted name, he decided to send her an email not realizing the email would come to me and not her. When this poor man realized he had been ripped off by a scammer, it wasn’t too long thereafter the site was gone and so was her old ass. Not to mention, I’m sure he told everyone how she scammed him.
It wasn’t until years later someone on Fetlife connected with me and after a few email exchanges, he made a mention of how he had known of the person who was stealing my name and apologized on behalf of his community, which I truly appreciated.
Now let’s fast forward to today.
The saturation of the internet has sometimes made things difficult to track on where someone may have gotten their information. Someone wants to sell you marketing strategies, well, where did they get their information from? Did they go to school and study marketing or took some type of business courses?
Did they work in an industry within that field?
Let me ask you this.
Would you seek financial advice from someone who doesn’t have one spec of financial education?
Would you seek advice from someone about making real estate purchases but has no clue about real estate?
Have you had conversations where a person seems to know what they are talking about and because of that, you just decide, “well they seem to know what they are talking about and they are charging so cheap, how can I lose?”
The thing is you can.
You can lose a lot more for bargain basement jargon because you’re made to believe that person is trustworthy or because they have a strong following, how can they steer you wrong.
Even those with education and experience can still rip you off, so how do you go about finding people who will be honest with you when seeking some sort of advice on “how to”.
The answer is simplistic. Just like I’ve said for every relationship, what you find within a person is consistency. Granted, not every piece of advice will work for everyone, but you have to go by your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. If you feel it’s not a business concept that may work for your business, seek a secondary advice.
I have found people are awfully quick to make a choice by status, follower count and how they sound, never having taking the time out to find out what resources the person may be using to suggest tips or advice. Not even taking the time to find out if the information the person is offering is accurate.
Within the adult world, people are basically running their own business. While it may be small in the concepts of not having to delegate or having other employees working for them, and I’m talking about like 20 employees or more, at the end of the day, they are running their own business, and have to function like any other business, ensuring they are putting a percentage away to pay their taxes (despite what trolls think), content creation, writing, and just the day to day management.
The internet has paved the way for people to develop almost any business they want, and within the adult world, people have implored these “man-made” titles to give themselves a type of validity to be a part of.
I was listening to my friend, Mistress Rage, “Ragecast” today and one thing she said in Episode #14 about people and their self-proclaimed titles with almost little to no education can be a dangerous source for anyone who may have deeper matters where they should perhaps talk to someone along the lines of where they can seek help.
While there’s nothing wrong of having a desire to be a part of, or be a part of a group where you can lend your help, there is a problem when a self-made title becomes part of an egotistical alignment where you believe you have the world’s answers. And when they don’t listen to you, emotions of bitterness and anger now lead your “cause”, making excuses to why name calling is appropriate when it never is.
Laying down in my bed, late at night, when I’m supposed to unwind from the day from my work and social media, I take a sneak on twitter and normally is when I will see these vile things and it always makes me wonder why people will still think it’s okay to say disparaging things, such as (this example), when a person decided to create a twitter account to chastise me, in addition made vile comments to the transgender community on how they should be lucky to be breathing the same air.
For me that goes beyond anything anyone should not be saying ever. Creating accounts, creating titles and or jobs that you won’t see in traditional corporate systems to take advantage of individual or groups, goes beyond satisfying the ego.
It goes to a place where a person can make a dangerous decision where they can hurt others or themselves.
Other than the ego aspect, going back to the title of stealing content for your business or recycling other people’s hard work and selling it off as your own, can still hurt others in how they conduct their business because the person you are selling this to is entrusting you they will monetize on your advice. Most times, this isn’t even the case.
Anyone who owns their own business, anyone….will tell you it’s hard work. It’s not easy and most times you may be up late hours having to tie things together to prepare for the next day, also it depends on the type of business. I can give you all sorts of examples but this article is long enough as it is LOL.
And with all that being said, let’s review for a bit. As a consumer seeking advice what are good tips to look out for.
Make sure the person has a good reputation.
The have best practices in ethics.
They understand critical thinking.
They aren’t selling you a ruse that sounds good but isn’t realistic.
Most importantly, in addition to them understanding your needs, do not be afraid to ask where their experience is based from. You have a right to ask those questions. Having more than 10K followers is not a base for experience or success (remember once upon a time there wasn’t social media).
As for anyone who has a business or wants to begin a business, do your research. Copying other methods never works. Create your methods through inspiration and try to base them on your own personal experiences.
If you want to learn something, there are many courses to take with a reputable school who can also offer certificate courses.
Write your ideas down and if you need to share them, share them with someone you can trust and can give you honest feedback on how to pursue your idea(s).
I’ve learned in having my own business, taking someone’s idea and making it as it was yours is like impersonating someone. That would be like me singing Madonna songs and taking credit for her work.
Not good and not cool.
But…I see it happening all the time and people just completely buy into the façade because it sounds so good, how could it be a lie.
Always stay on guard.
Until then. Take care of you.
