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And Just Like That…. WTF Just Happened? (Spoiler Alert)

I was going to include this with my entertainment article but it was just too long and there are so many things I wanted to talk about regarding this first episode, so here we go!

My sister called me a few weeks ago asking me if I watched the first episode of the reboot. Screaming OMG don’t say anything, (she’s not much of a spoiler, thank goodness), she briefly shared with me about the age thing and how they all made themselves like they were ‘old’ as if it were the deathbed reboot.

Yes world, we are well aware, we all age. Maybe some worse than others and some who’ve had work to cover their age only to make them look worse than they looked before.

While we all struggle with aging in one form or another, I felt like the aging subject was over the top and overdone. Since when was becoming 50 was the “one foot in the grave” concept? I’m sure everyone has felt at some point in their lives, if they only knew then what they know now, and how things may have been different. Yes, life would look very different, but it doesn’t take away the lessons you’ve learned, or have to deal with different situations which can be far worse lessons to learn.

Let’s play catch up starting with Miranda. Brady, now a growing horny teen, Miranda comments on how she went into his room and stepped on a used condom and is afraid to say anything to him out of fear she will drive a wedge. Steve who is still very much a part of her life has now lost part of his hearing. Good lord, help us here. Was Steve in the habit of tuning his family out by blowing out his ears with ear plugs as he listened to music in an ungodly volume?

On top of that, she mentions to the gang, she is going back to school and her first day in class, she makes a fool out of herself by sitting on the professor’s chair and then making comments when the professor enters the room, why she specifically took that class. I have to say, I sincerely struggled watching these “trying to be politically correct” scenes to appease the snowflake audience. Are we made to believe Miranda would even say things like this in the first place?

In the world of Charlotte, nothing but bliss and happiness seem to remain at the Goldenblatt home. Harry, who seems very present in their marriage, showing no signs of aging as he skateboards with his daughter Rose, while Lilly is the gifted pianist in the family, becoming obviously clear, the two girls have different personalities.

Kim Catrall had zero interest in returning to the reboot, arguing it was time to move on, among other unsavory comments she made about SPJ, I was happy to see how they explained away, Kim Cattrall’s character Samantha, without ignoring the fact she was part of the show. Apparently, she moved to Paris after a fallout with Carrie and when Carrie mentioned, “she hates me”, she really wasn’t joking.

And while I will miss the vivacious Samantha, probably the stronger character of the group, I envisioned if she did come back to the show, she would wind up with the gorgeous Smith, realizing she deserves to be in a loving relationship and maybe keeping the others in line reminding them of their priorities.

Now I read somewhere Big and Carrie get a divorce and I was angry at myself for catching that since I wanted everything in this episode to be a surprise.

And a surprise it was. Warning, here’s the spoiler alert coming!

I was happy to see Big and Carrie was just as much as in love as they were when their whole relationship transpired throughout Sex and The City back in the day.

And even through the two movies, they have survived the best and the worst, and continue to stay very much in love. I should have known something was wrong from the beginning when Big spent more time staring at her with his adoring eyes, telling her how much he loved her. Not even arguing with Carrie when she chose to delay their getaway to attend Charlotte’s daughter’s recital while he chose to spend time on his Peloton bike.

In the world of Carrie, it seemed she was still struggling with the new found world of technology, now part of a trio podcasting show. Yes, it’s been a while. Although technology was growing during the movies, podcasting wasn’t as popular as it is now where everyone who thinks they’re someone who has an opinion needs a podcast.

I’m not sure what was the focal point of this podcast, but if it was something real, it’s bad and not anything I would listen to, even owning an adult magazine.

So, while struggling through an awful podcast, where mindless topics of sex and sexual questions of masturbation, were supposed to be the entertainment portion, Carrie still has a love for writing, which I can relate on many levels, there’s nothing like writing. As Carrie struggled on her said topic, “masturbation”, she noticed Big on their bed, reading a book, minding his own business when she comes forward asking him if he masturbates.

I was thinking, where are we going with this? Like seriously? Yes, Sex and The City back in the 90s but if we are grown, why are we entertaining these topics? I felt like it was solely being entertained so Carrie can have something to talk about in this sorry ass podcast and it didn’t fit into what we were used to seeing.

Yes, it wasn’t like sex wasn’t a topic discussed, but anyone who watched the show, knew this was more about establishing long term relationships, while going through the struggles of dating, breakups and yes, sometimes unusual sex, especially withing Samantha's life.

Not that the writers lack creativity, as we watched the two scenes, Lilly, fiercely hammering the piano keys, as “Big” fiercely hammered away on his Peloton bike, working up a sweat, and Carrie watching Lilly playing in awe as Charlotte and Harry smiled those proud smiles. Oh that parenting love.

When Big finishes working out, he sends a text to Carrie, “let’s leave tonight”. But Carrie engaged in the show, never feels her phone vibrate, as Big makes his way to the bathroom, turning on the shower water, dropping his phone and then collapsing to the floor.

At this point I’m thinking, okay so it’s a heart attack but he’s just sitting there, staring off into space. What seemed like hours, Carrie finally arrives home, to find Big on the floor, still sitting there and guess what, he looks up with those loving eyes, you know the ones from earlier scenes.

Carrie grabs him, screaming out his name, clutching and holding him. The shower still running and all the water spilling on the floor, and the shoes she wore on their wedding day, getting drenched along with her tears.

“And just like that, Big dies”

Well, fuck yeah he did! I mean what the fuck happened with grabbing the phone and calling 911.

Talk about a loss.

Then to make matters worse, not too long after this plays out, the news comes out with accusations from two different women about Chris Noth and alleged sexual attacks on them. One of them claiming she begged him to stop and he kept going.

Now, let me just say this.

One. Perfect timing.

Second. This is horrible. If this happened so many years ago, why wait until now to say something? Granted, I have been in positions of being attacked, and to be honest, even still till this day, I have not pointed fingers at anyone or have said anything.

Why? Because I refuse to be a victim in anyone’s eyes. While people may think that is a stupid thing, think what they want, or even you, the reader.

In a statement posted by the fab 3 of the SATC cast, they claim to stand by the women who were attacked.

I hate to be the woman of “cynic” here, but I’m gonna say this and leave it here. If this man were someone who was doing this for a number of years, why didn’t they kill off his character sooner?

And you mean to tell me that all of these years (going back to the 90’s), we are supposed to believe Chris Noth was gallivanting around, allegedly harming women and SPJ who become a producer of the show just allowed Chris Noth to continue on the show as if nothing ever happened.

It’s Hollywood babes – anything can happen. Cynic or not. (for all those who don't get it, I'm being sarcastic).

Here's a side note. Apparently the stocks of Peloton went down as a result of this scene. Never ceases to amaze me how stupid people are to associate a bike with a death scene. Does anyone think in their mind, in real life, wouldn't you get advice from a doctor if you have heart problems. Did anyone ever think, "hmm, well this is a television show, perhaps he didn't know he had heart problems."

In the famous words of Biff Howard Tannen, "think McFly think".

No one does that anymore and in this case, no I'm not being sarcastic. I'm just being real.

Until then.


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