I don’t normally venture on Twitter too much, being is has become a cesspool of politics and I’m not really into seeing people arguing all day long on who’s right or wrong, but I did see something which caught my eye. Tayshia and Zac are over.
Why am I not surprised? Almost a year later after I posted this blog https://www.marabelleblueunfiltered.com/post/the-bachelorette-finale-surprise - I was attacked by two “little girls” who had their feelings hurt when I made a comment about Zac and the things he was spewing about recovery.
Hi little girls, here I am telling you I told you so.
Zac, who’s claims to be sober now for the last 9 years (10 if he’s still sober and counting), spoke, what we call, “the recovery lingo”. He spoke it very well. So well, it makes you wonder if he believed the words coming out from his mouth.
As I mentioned in my blog, last year, when verbally attacked by these two snowflakes who clearly didn’t understand the addict mentality or the process of recovery, until you have lived with a person who’s in recovery or you are an addict yourself, you will never understand the art of manipulation.
On the flip side, these two snowflakes will buy and believe anything they see on television, which is the whole idea. We have been known to use this term in our meetings, “If it walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, it’s a duck.” Not a lot people will get this and if you did, congratulations.
With reality television being the “ends all that says all”, I’m not surprised how these producers have sensationalized recovery and how others understand the term “clean and sober”. Once upon a time, it was shameful to admit you had a drinking or drug problem. Society tends to believe, if you are a person with these types of problems, it will be just a matter of time before you begin using again. Soap operas were very good at depicting these types of scenarios. A person who has a drinking problem, sneaking drinks or resorting to alcohol because they don’t want to deal with their problems. Using again.
The reality is once you acknowledge you have a problem, you don’t become a know it all, as per Zac. Every day is a learning process. The idea is you never “arrive”, you keep learning. That’s the humility aspect.
It is also true, while society may shun a person with a drinking or drug problem, the person with the problem also has to understand the world doesn’t turn for them, just because they said so It’s also true, a person who isn’t practicing a new form of life will use again. Addiction is complex and every person is different. I can only imagine how Zac used his recovery to try and get is way with Tayshia and I say that because of everything that flew out from his mouth during her season (remember the duck rule).
I’ve also learned people have a tendency to believe alcohol doesn’t fit into the realm of addiction, although alcoholism addiction is very real. If you don’t know the story of Bill and Bob, the founders of AA here’s a great link here from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation: https://www.hazelden.org/web/public/has00522.page
In short, recovery isn’t an easy process for people. For some, it is more of a struggle than others and would rather sound like they have everything together instead of sharing their struggles and how can they get through it. The withdrawal process can be brutal and some people never give themselves a chance to stay clean because the pain of withdrawal is too much. For those of us who do (yes me too), every day is a blessing, however, there are days where my mind likes to play those tricks and tell me I’ve been clean for so many years, I deserve at least one sip of alcohol.
No such things as a sip or a slip my friends.
While Tayshia isn’t disclosing why she and Zac broke up, we can sit here and guess the variety of reasons. Maybe Tayshia doesn’t understand the addict mentality. Maybe Zac relapsed. Maybe Zac got too full of himself being a celebrity and not focusing on their relationship. Maybe Tayshia was the one too focused on being a celebrity and not focused on their relationship. Maybe she can’t handle he can’t drink. We can go on and on.
I did some digging and found some info on different sites making suggestions Tayshia experienced “angry outbursts” from Zac and allegedly had been hospitalized from one of these “angry outburst”, although no further details were disclosed.
Another source cited their busy schedule was the reason of their break up and they found it difficult to spend time together. I’m confused…did they not live together? Were they out all night and just never connected at home? Did they have to pencil in time together?
According to an anonymous source who shared this tidbit with another news outlet, their schedules conflicted, therefore leaving them in a difficult place about their relationship vs their careers.
Isn’t being a relationship about building instead of focusing on who’s going to be on, “Dancing with the Stars”? I’m sorry but I’m not buying this one.
Funny. I thought the reason why people went on these shows was to find love. Notice in the years of the Bachelor franchise, especially after Trista Rehn and Ryan Sutter, the shows have taken these couples on a whole new level of “celebrity”, either appearing on, Dancing with the Stars, or Bachelor in Paradise, where some now even ride on the Bachelor wave by having their own podcasts or hosting shows. It irks me when there are people who sacrifice a college education in communications only to get bumped by some random person who just appeared on a television show and gets all the paid gigs while the person who has a love for this field gets screwed.
Well of course, if people are breaking up this is the reason why. Duh. I mean come on now. How does anyone expect for their relationships to last if they are too busy doing the entertainment circuit? And believe me when I tell you, I’m sure this is noted in the contracts they sign, because the Bachelor franchise isn’t about everlasting relationships, this is all about drama and how they can monetize on that drama.
Why are Trista and Ryan in a healthy relationship? Because they are not part of the bullshit. If you are really looking for love, then that should be the priority. If you’re looking to be a celebrity while in the process of “looking for love”, then you have the Bachelor shows and any other show you can get on for that. There’s nothing wrong for desiring to become a celebrity, however, there are people who are truly looking for real love, whether it be The Bachelor/Bachelorette, Married at First Sight, even 90 Day Fiancé, just to name a few. As unconventional it may be, for any person hoping to land on one of these shows, know where your priorities are and don’t take someone else down with you due to ‘your’ priorities.
As for Tayshia and Zac, all the best to them as they begin their chapters living their lives apart.
Until then. Take care of you.