I was wondering how long this couple would last. For some odd reason, the “experts” believed in the balance of Binh being frugal and the strength and independence of Morgan would be a match made in heaven.
Not necessarily so.
Binh articulated he was a “mama’s boy” in the sense he can meet someone who’s like his mother, endearing and strong.
But in the same note, due to his education, which in his family was the priority for his life’s goals, his strength in mathematics and acquiring his master’s degree, had taken away a lot of who he can be if he wasn’t so obsessed with being cheap (but in his words frugal). For example, he said he doesn’t do laundry during certain times, because those are peak hours. He doesn’t turn on the air conditioner or heat, when he can open a window. Okay I get that, but regardless, I will not freeze in my own house.
His gift giving options wasn’t something he catered to either. He doesn’t believe in buying gifts, instead his idea of gift giving would be investments of bitcoin.
Don’t get me wrong on the investments. As any couple would, thinking of the future and unforeseen circumstances, yes looking into making investments is a smart choice. However, when you’re in a relationship, I think gift giving isn’t something that shouldn’t be off the table.
Why do couples give each other gifts? It’s a sign of love, ways of saying thank you for being with me, and I love we are in this together. Rightly so, love doesn’t hold a price tag, but if you’re not in a position to get a bouquet of flowers and surprise your partner, perhaps you’re not ready to be in a giving relationship.
Not everyone will take this well, especially in this day and age where people are more selfish when it comes to relationships. I will share this from my own personal experience, rather than use generalized terms. I have met people who made claims about they were ready to meet “the one” and ready to make a real commitment. Yet when they do, their behavior reflects lack of commitment, coupled with mind games and wishy-washy behavior. In the same breath, when things are good, conversations are loving and project a positive feeling, which can override the negative internal feelings towards the relationship. Sadly, the good times become short lived and the wishy-washy behavior begins to supersede the good parts.
So, do you give up or stick it out in the hopes it will get better and remain consistent?
People can say, “leave that person alone, they ain’t serious about you”. Granted this could be the case, but who is anyone to say, if that person isn’t the one? People have all sorts of opinions on other people’s relationships, but at the end of the day, only you have to be the one to lie with that person in the same bed and live with your decisions. And if that’s not the bed you want to lie in, then at some point, one must make real decisions on what they want for their future.
Love is a very sensitive topic for anyone. No one wants to hear if their person isn’t in love with them and isn’t willing to make a commitment. This can go deeper, affecting self-esteem, how they view themselves in the eyes of others and their outlooks on future decisions.
There has been a string of young guys, thinking they are podcasting and/or interviewing one another, just basically complaining about what they won’t do for women.
If you’re 21, you should really be focused on your ass and forget about what you think women are looking for, especially when they aren’t looking for someone like you, who’s immature and unprepared to be an adult, and a responsible adult, at that.
Rant over….
Morgan, a registered nurse, was one class short of her Bachelor’s of Science degree, (more on that later), discussed her struggles with a past relationship and weight gain. She felt lost in the relationship and in turn lost herself. Once she was able to comprehend how much control she had for her well-being, she began working out using Muay Tai to build strength and conditioning, taking better care of herself and making more conscious choices for her long-term goals.
During her down time, she likes to play video games, but her independence seems to be costing her relationships as she believes men are looking for more of a passive person, and viewing her at someone who comes off a bit “aggressive” or perhaps, “rough around the edges”. Sounds like most men have a Gabby issue (Bachelorette for those who missed this season).
As wedding day approached, Morgan received news from Dr. Pepper, their wedding would be delayed because Binh had covid, but after he was in the clear, they would be able to get married.
It wasn’t until Episode 4, Binh and Morgan got their wedding day. When his friends arrived and asked Binh how he was feeling, he said it was important to have his mom’s approval and also hoping the relationship be long lasting as with his parents and felt optimistic about his upcoming nuptials.
Morgan, on the other hand, was already putting conditions on the relationship before meeting Binh. During this discussion, her friend advised her to remain open and not shut down, just because she may not like or agree with something.
Initially, they got along really well. Binh was clearly nervous. As they were breaking open the champagne, one of his questions to Morgan was, if she was interested in having children. It seemed to be the recurring theme of the night, as Binh’s mom also inquired if Morgan was interested in being a mom and how many children, as she sidetracked her answer with another topic.
While these questions are premature at best, considering this ‘unique’ situation, my guess is, with advance notice, they can anticipate the progress of the relationship during their 10 weeks to make a better decision.
Here was some insight Morgan gave, without saying, this is where their problems would begin.
The next day was Binh’s birthday and one of the producers asked him if he and Morgan had sex and he said in jest they were trying but they were tired. Morgan was in the background and caught his responses and told Binh to STFU.
Yes, Morgan was joking, but you can see it was bothersome Binh was discussing her without Morgan being in the same room and without her consent.
This is what I find strange. This is a reality television show, similar to other shows, where you will have “confessionals” of the cast either talking about themselves or others who may be involved in the situation. For Morgan to get upset, isn’t being realistic. I think Morgan knew what she was signing up for but for some reason, she must have felt like the exception.
Keep in mind, what we are seeing on television already happened months ago, so when the editors are putting all of this shit together, knowing the outcome, they can make Binh look like the bad guy, especially when Pastor Cal and Dr. Pepper were solely focused on his frugalness and not that Binh has a great relationship with family, while using the term, “mamma’s boy”, as a person who wasn’t independent and relied on his mom for his caregiving needs.
Binh was clear on how important it was to have a partner who didn’t come with money issues or any outstanding debts. Granted in this day and age, one partner can most likely absolve themselves from their partner’s debt, perhaps by showing proof they didn’t incur the debt or partake in having a part in it. Also, there’s a thing called a prenup but being they get married at first sight, they would have to go the route of a post-nup, something like Stacia and Nate did (more on them too). Note, I’m not a financial advisor so if you need to seek this type of advice, definitely contact a professional.
For the “experts” to sit there in their confessionals talking about this ying/yang balance is bullshit.
Having been delayed because of Binh being sick, he and Morgan, now married, headed to their honeymoon where they can spend ample time together and schmooze with the other couples, making a friendly connection with Justin and Alexis.
The honeymoon getaway establishes time for the couples to get to know one another, without the interference of family members or friends, and as Binh and Morgan were getting to know each other, she shared several things with him she felt was important to establish trust. But little did anyone know, this is also where their problems begin, which went way beyond being frugal.
It seems a conversation took place off camera with Binh about her degree and debt she had incurred with her student loans as she had one more course to complete to get her bachelor’s. She also shared how she has difficulties maintaining a relationship with her father and hasn’t seen or spoken to him for several years.
What was most important to Morgan, having been burned several times of sharing in confidence, was trust. Regardless of what she was sharing, she expected for that person to have her confidence and not discuss her issues with someone else. If that trust were to be broken, Morgan would sever ties with that person, regardless if the friendship or relationship could be repaired.
For Morgan, there was no going back.
In sharing with Binh omitting on her application about having a Bachelors, being one class short upon completion, Binh mistook this information as, “she’s not really a nurse”, failing to realize a nursing program was a different set of courses she clearly took as she was a registered nurse. The reason why she wanted this degree, so she can get a better salary, as well as having the opportunity to advance in her career as a nurse.
The next day, while at the beach, Binh had a conversation with Morgan, airing out anxieties about the conversation they had the night before, and while on the surface, they seem to be compatible, there were other things concerning him about the longevity of their relationship.
I think Morgan was pretty clear on her career goals, but yet while having these discussions, not only about the “missing” class, but also on the fact she doesn’t have good relationships with her family and making it a point how important it was to him his partner be able to maintain a good relationship with his family.
Let’s back track for a minute.
I think everything Binh was saying was all well and good, however, are these concerns he should be focused on so early in the relationship? During his confessional he was sharing about the degree or the lack thereof and feeling as though Morgan is a liar, because of the approach she took in having these discussions off camera. And to add insult to injury after she told him not to tell anyone, Binh shared his concerns with Justin…and maybe Alexis.
If Binh had genuine concerns, why didn’t he speak to one of the producers off camera, if he was afraid to ask for clarification from Morgan. Instead, he confided in Justin, which in essence, there’s nothing wrong with confiding with someone about your concerns or confusion. What was wrong with the whole confidence thing was either Alexis was present or Justin just happened to mention it to Alexis.
Binh misunderstood the assignment.
Granted, there’s nothing wrong with seeking friends’ advice, especially given this type of situation, however, Morgan was very specific in letting Binh know to please not share this with anyone.
For me, there were so many different ways Binh could have approached the situation, without creating problems where there wasn’t any to create in the first place. Perhaps Binh should have posed the question, why didn’t she want anyone else to know. Considering Binh was in a different place financially, maybe this intimidated Morgan, hence the reason why she wanted to have the conversation off camera and didn’t want her finances to be “front page news”.
In addition to this unique circumstance, being paired up with a stranger, having cameras following you all day and night for the sole purpose of content, can be a driving force of stress for all of these couples. Not only are they having to sort out the challenges of getting to know someone they married overnight, but having to cohabitate with them as part of the 10 week process, when I’m sure most of them would rather take a break and go home for the night, which I think some have in past seasons.
While Binh may have had genuine concerns, if he felt he needed to talk to someone about it, perhaps Justin wasn’t the best choice. And if he suspected Justin went back to Alexis, it’s because she may have been present when Binh was airing out his dirty laundry.
Having this knowledge with Morgan and Binh on uncertain grounds with their newly relationship, it all made sense when all the couples converged for dinner, which is the time used to discuss their challenges and where they’re at in their relationships.
When it came time for Binh and Morgan to share, she made comments about her career taking up most of her time and she won’t be able to commit in taking care of her husband, like cooking or spending time and Binh will need to do that for himself.
While she was making this speech, Alexis whispered to Justin, “why does she need Binh then…am I wrong.”
Alexis making this statement, may reaffirm she was present when Binh was venting.
And here’s the funny part to all of this, (and funny being sarcastic), how all the couples were at dinner discussing their challenges in relationships, when Justin mentioned the importance of making a commitment to your partner, while hugging up on Alexis who behaved she was in total agreement with Justin. However, when one of the producers asked Alexis her thoughts on Morgan’s comments, she said if Morgan isn’t ready for a relationship, then why did she get married.
I guess Alexis didn’t realize in that moment, both she and Morgan were both wearing the same shoes, walking the path of denial, pretending to be happy with their new found “life” partners.
Overall, if Alexis wasn’t present for the first conversation Binh had with Justin, then Justin was wrong to go back and tell Alexis what Binh shared with him in confidence.
For Binh to listen to Morgan, “without judgement” and then run back and share his “suspicions” with Justin, instead of just coming forward and asking Morgan to clarify about why she didn’t want to talk openly about the one course she was completing to get her bachelors, would have been a much better approach. Instead, he spewed out inconsistencies of the expert’s match making skills and because of his own concerns, he admitted to telling Justin what she shared with him, not realizing it made him look as if he was questioning Morgan’s integrity and who she is as a person.
Reiterating why Morgan left this information out could be just the simple fact, she didn’t want to look irresponsible due to her debt, which I completely understand.
She also may have felt or didn’t want to impose having Binh responsible for her debt.
I would think any of the producers of the show wouldn’t risk the liability of stating Morgan is a nurse when she’s not. It was clear the Bachelors she was seeking wasn’t part of her nursing program, which she completed. Her goal for the Bachelors was to acquire a better salary.
Now let’s review.
Morgan’s trust issues stem from the relationship she had with her dad and when it comes to love relationships, if anyone comes in with unresolved baggage, that shit will be detrimental to that current relationship, because that one person will constantly use their past as a weapon. Both Pastor Cal and Morgan’s friend, Carl told Morgan in order for her relationship to succeed with Binh, she will need to put down her walls down and be open to communicate. If she doesn’t do that, basically the she won’t grow, the relationship won’t grow and they will eventually go their separate ways
.
Anyone who watched this season will see Morgan closed herself off on during the honeymoon.
I’ll be following up with videos on Youtube and using these couples as examples on my coaching channel as well. Be sure to subscribe here: youtube.com/@coachingliferealities. I will also be doing an extended on Patreon, where I get to show more feature clips without getting tagged, so please follow my Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/marabelleblueunfiltered
And do follow my coaching Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/coachingwithmarabelleblue
There’s a lot to unpack with the couples. Stay tuned for a new article, next up will be Mitch and Krysten.
Until then. Take care of you.
